The Car

My car died the other day while the kids and I were at the library, and we had to call Josh to come and rescue us. He took us home, and then went to look at my car. When he returned, we sat on the back patio while the kids played on the swingset, and he told me what happened. (The battery was old.) Now Josh can get a little long winded with his stories, but in his defense, there was a lot to tell. After a while, Olivia yelled from the swing, "Dad, are you still bragging about how you fixed Mom's car?!"

Prison

Olivia: "When I'm in prison..."
Me: "Wait, why will you be in prison?"
Olivia: (Without skipping a beat.) "I took the blame for Dad."